The other day, my friend asked me about my future. I had a hard time answering her questions because I don’t really know what the future looks like for me. Once I had goals and aspirations but as I got older, most of them have disappeared from my life. I never have been an ambitious person but I still expected more at this point of my life. Its been difficult as people seem to move forward in their life while I have largely been stuck for the last couple of years without progressing in my life. There is one thing I want to do now. To be better. To do better in my life. To look forward and actually make progress towards my future. Hopefully today will be the start of the new me(Christ, I can’t believe I typed that).
So how will I go on about doing this change? First, I will keep doing what I have been doing so far. Working out. Meditating. Writing on my journal. Positive self-talk exercises. I just started doing these actions but I need to maintain them so I can see some improvement within me. Second, look towards what I want to do in life. I have been lost for a long time so this won’t be easy for me. I’m still not convinced that writing is my dream yet I truly enjoy doing it. Graduating with a M.A. in English Lit helped me hone my skills but I can do better. I will start looking at writing as something that can be improved even further without going to college in order to do it. English is my strongest skill so I need to hone it even better so I can decide if its really my future to be a writer. I don’t know if I have the work ethic to do these things but I want to try. I need to try. Annndddd that’s what I have so far.
I know this doesn’t look like a big step but it is for me. Now what about this blog? Well, I intend to write on it more as part of my process. One day it could be something like this. An update on my life and progress. Another day it could be a short piece of fiction that I can’t get out of my head and I want to write about it. Maybe you will read about my love for sci-fi and other geeky subjects. Everything goes. Hopefully, making this affirmation public will lead me to stick with it. I need to.